Monday, February 22, 2010

Museum Adventure

Today, I decided to go to one of Lima's many fine museums with a few friends from the hostel. The one we decided on, El Museo de la Nacion, houses "three levels of extensive exhibits about all manner of Peruvian heritage," according to my nifty guide book. Splendid! The next step was deciding how to get there.

There are as many taxis in Lima as there are white folks for them to take advantage of. Having paid probably double what I should have to get from the airport to my hostel on Thursday, I said to myself: "Girlfriend, you ain't gonna let them step all over you like that again!" So I decided to take one of the buses, which are almost as numerous as taxis and much cheaper. Plus they are a good place to rub up against strangers.

These mini buses are a little bigger than a volkswagen bus and fit about 47 more people. My legs didn't fit in the seats, and I couldn't stand up straight in the aisle, so I stood in a position halfway between taking a dump and triple-threat position in basketball.

Inside the bus:

We took two of these packed rides to the general location of the museum, then walked the rest of the way, which consisted of crossing a few streets. Being from Boulder, naturally I strolled out into traffic thinking vehicles would stop, but then I almost died a few times and realized that cars/trucks/buses/hybrid-motorcycle-rickshaw-mobiles in fact rule the streets here.


Traffic in Lima is a cluster-fuck to say the least. Also, drivers often honk/yell/whistle at attractive young folks; needless to say this created a problem for my group of friends, because they were with me. I don't know how many times I heard "Pinche gringo!" which I'm pretty sure translates to: "You look like a combination of Brad Pitt and Fabio!"

I was pretty proud of myself for making it to the museum without getting lost or having to buy a taxi driver's friendship. And most of all, I was excited to see the museum's massive collection, because next to unprotected sexual escapades and needle sharing, viewing artifacts is the best way to get to know a foreign culture! - (Just kidding mom. Of course I use condoms - I know of no better way to transport coke in my ass.)

So I was all hot and bothered to see some art. But when we tried to enter the museum, we found out that it's closed on Mondays. I was about ready to bitch-slap whoever wrote my guide book, but then I looked and it says the museum is open Tuesday through Sunday. Apparently Monday is the new Sunday for museum folk.

So, after sitting on the steps of the museum feeling dejected, we decided to take a few more buses into central Lima, where we saw the outside of another closed museum, and then walked around a few different parks, which was nice. There were many interesting statues in the parks, including this one, which I renamed:

"Abe Lincoln gets a pearl necklace"

Here are a few more photos I took in central Lima:

Headed back to the museum tomorrow; Wish me luck!

1 comment:

  1. I'll saw off both of my testicles if you don't get published in the next year! You fucking rock dude.
    Your bro