Friday, April 2, 2010

U.P.F. 2010

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, you guys. So before I tell you all about my adventures at Pisco Sin Fronteras, I want to make up for the delay with a very special piece of news...

...I can prettymuch get my hair in a ponytail!!!

What's that you say? This news is even more exciting than you thought it would be?! Why thank you! I haven't felt this free and rebelious since my rat-tail days of the mid 90's.

I know there are some ponytail haters out there, and to you I say this: Bring it on! Everyone knows that once you have a ponytail you automatically get Steven Seagal's martial art skills.

In fact, I wonder who would win in an Ultimate Ponytail Face-Off between Steven Seagal and myself...

He get's a gun?!? No fair!!!

Let's see. What would the events be in an Ultimate Ponytail Face-Off?! Hair Braiding? Pony Riding? Staring Contest? How many cinder blocks can you break at once... with your ponytail!?

Obviously ass-kicking would be one of the events. Steven Seagal has kicked hundreds of thousands of asses, both onscreen and off. I've almost gotten my ass kicked a few times but managed to talk my way out of it... We'll call that one a draw for now.

I know one thing: my ponytail is way thicker and more curly than Steven Seagal's, so if there's an event for that I'll win for sure!

Who else would compete in the first and only annual Ultimate Ponytail Face-Off?

Neil Young?

Antonio Banderas? (Disqualified for hair tie infraction)

David Beckham? (Disqualified for stealing Antonio Banderas's hair tie)

I don't know who this guy is, but he's invited!

I don't think it would be fair to let Jesus compete. The end.

...Stay tuned for more blog posts that are actually relevant to something!

1 comment:

  1. charlie! i've been perusing your blog, and i gotta say.. fucking hilarious. epically funny. glad you're having a fucking awesome time!!
    keep it up!!